I can totally relate. I started making music in 2008. Back then, uploading music to sites like Newgrounds was still fairly new, so there wasn't much basis to compare yourself or others work too. Maybe it had something to do with my age at the time (pretty sure I was only 12 at that time), but I was pumping out songs like mad and having a blast learning new things in my DAW while improving skills. Fast forward about 5 years and I started to get this feeling like people were outdoing me at every turn. Music was no longer about having fun but instead about "sounding like someone else in the mainstream." I would get frustrated in never getting the right sound or technique and I began to have less fun and pump songs out slower and slower by the year. 2018 rolled around and I've pretty much been AWOL to music since then. What once was an escape from reality and was such a fun/exciting way to express myself had become too much work/stressful. Constantly being like "I can't let anyone hear this because it'd just be too embarrassing compared to what these insanely skilled artists are doing/able to do."
All in all, it's also just my personality. Anxiety/depression, all that jazz. Coupled with being in a career, music just kind of fell out of my life. I hate to admit it and I try so hard to study my DAW further but I can't for more than five minutes at a time anymore. I lose motivation and just tell myself I'll never be good enough. I also go back and listen to my old pieces of work a lot on Newgrounds. Hundreds of projects that tell a story and I remember where I was at in life when I posted/wrote each one.
Sorry, not trying to make this a "look at me" sort of thing. I've never even responded to one of these news postings before, haha, but your words inspired me because of how relatable they are. I'd do anything to bring back the joy of what once had been a life-saving hobby for myself too. Music saved my life by letting me express stories through my emotions and thoughts that were too complex for words and could only be told through music.
I hope you find what you're looking for. None of us ever deserve to feel this way. Believe me when I say though, if I can make it through this, you can too. The feelings aren't great, but they aren't forever either.
FaithFullFang
its ok everyone has this feeling once in a while just don't give up on it ok :) and have a good day